(Photo by Becky Da Silva, who was very good at capturing my most genuine smiles during our road trip through New Zealand.) 

Last night, I watched my mother as she flawlessly did what mothers do: fussed over the house.

“Are you sure this is ok?” she asked. She was referring to the queen-size bed where I was sitting and working. My brain immediately jumped to the feeling of sitting on top of a squeaky bunk bed situated six feet off the ground. The only queen-size beds that existed in my reality over the past 16 months were those belonging to generous friends or cheeky Tinder dates. There was one hostel in Phnom Penh and a splurge of a hotel in Bali where I enjoyed Starfish-ing for eight hours, but those were literally a year apart.

I’ve been home for a week, so the novelty of a queen-size bed has not worn off yet.

“Uh, yeah. This is more than ok. This is great.”

My parents’ home is actually a 20-minute drive from the house where I grew up (and a 30-minute train ride away from Philadelphia.) After I moved to Austin, my sister moved to Chicago, and my brother moved to Boulder, my parents moved out of their townhouse faster than a Las Vegas wedding ceremony. I’ve only come back for the holidays and short periods of pre-travel, no-rent, spend-time-with-my-parents-who-will-miss-me-oh-so-much time. There are still many boxes and clothes that I have to sift through in my/my sister/my brother’s bedroom (the one with the queen-size  bed.) Three years later, I feel like I’m still getting used to this house. I only spent a month here before leaving for Asia in July 2017, and I haven’t been back since.

When am I leaving?

Good question. In at least two months.

My rough plan for 2019 involves traveling to South America, Europe, and Asia, but I don’t have a single plane ticket in my possession. Dates are rough and budgets must be looked at with a cynical eye. When I was still living in Australia, I promised my mother that I wouldn’t make any solid plans until she was able to see her darling first-born’s face. Well, now I’m home. The face has been seen. I have an appointment with the same hairdresser who has been cutting my hair since I can remember, and my grandma’s annual senior club is holding a fashion show that I will be attending. Nothing seems to have changed, and there is nothing new or unexpected on the horizon.

One thing that I, quite frankly, didn’t expect, was how absolutely up in the clouds that I would feel about being back.

Even Travelers Get the Blues

After I returned home from working at Disney World, I remember wrapping myself up in my blankets and sinking into the “Post College Program Depression,” a phenomenon which comes with its own Facebook group. After Europe, I took my backpack straight to Austin. For a few months, I found myself drinking beer alone and finding my footing. Making single-serving friends in hostels is easy; building a crew of friends who already have established lives is a task that makes you agree with people who say, “You’re so brave to move to a new city by yourself.” If it weren’t for a yoga studio that offered free classes on the roof of Whole Foods, I don’t know I would have stayed in Austin for more than a few months, much less two years. 

As my time in Australia and abroad wound down, I knew I might have to face a wave of yucky nostalgia, FOMO, or downright sadness once I got home. My year down under was the best year of my life; it’s not uncommon for me to tell people that my life in Brisbane was downright perfect. But even as I tuck myself in to bed to re-watch Great British Bake Off with no plans to see anything “special” or do anything Instagram-worthy, I still feel like things are perfect, right here in Hatboro.

Much-Needed Rest

Maybe the post-travel blues requires more energy than I have at the moment. The last three weeks of traveling were especially exhausting. I tried to squeeze in as much motorbiking, working, and yoga practice into a short 12 days in Bali. After two days in Tokyo, my plans came to a screeching halt as I was hit with a nasty case of food poisoning. I hummed and hawed over whether I’d be able to enjoy a night at Tokyo Disneyland doubled over, and decided to save myself the money. I barely left my pod hotel for two days, but in the end, I’m quite thankful that I got food poisoning. It wasn’t long before I admitted to myself – with a smile – that I wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything for the rest of the day. Two full days of touring Tokyo was sufficient until my next trip; my only to-do items were seeing the Digital Art Museum and visiting my friend from college (both were checked off before I went home!)

In Australia, the periods between “I just got here!” and “I have to do everything on my list before I leave!” always seemed to overlap. Four months was not enough time to truly settle into Melbourne, and the group of friends I made in Brisbane kept me so busy (and made me so happy) that I didn’t want to waste any time without them. But even if there are things I’d like to do in Philly (fine, fine, I’ll go to one of those axe-throwing bars,) I’ve got time. South America is sandwiched between two- and three-month intervals at home. Pennsylvania isn’t going anywhere.

Happiness as Momentum

Don’t let my exhaustion lead to you believe that I’m not being stupidly productive – maybe that’s why I’m not spiraling into a pit of FOMO. Now that I’m transitioning into running my own business, I have a lot of items on my to-do list. These items don’t involve snorkeling, road-tripping, or catching planes, but they’re enough to get me up in the morning.

Here’s just a taste of how I’m stomping over the post-travel blues.

Publishing my first eBook (!) 

I’ve written a handful of eBooks for clients, but I want to put one together myself! My first eBook will include a handful of different yoga flows (including some that I have already published on my blog.) The central theme of the book is getting in touch with your physical body and using yoga as a way to become more aware of the space where your body exists. I believe that this awareness can lead to self-love and acceptance…it did for me. So, yeah, keep an eye out for the eBook! (Or maybe sign up for my mailing list and be the first to know when it’s out…) 

Get back into pole and bouldering.

This isn’t exactly a work-related goal, but it will help me create a better eBook! During my time in Australia, I got really into bouldering and pole. (Not technically pole dancing, it’s more like “pole sport.”) Three months at home will give me time to get into a routine and make monthly memberships worth buying. Both of these activities complement yoga quite nicely (they’ll pop up in my upcoming eBook,) they’re a great way to meet people, and abs. Abs! I would like to enter South America with a nice set of ‘em. Time to get climbing.

Figuring out what the f**k I’m doing with my life.

I wouldn’t describe my 25th birthday as the start to a quarter-life crisis, but it has certainly opened the doors to evaluating what I want to prioritize in my life. I love the freedom that my job gives me, but I also want to be able to make my own kombucha or have a garden at some point. Meeting new people is amazing, but creating really tight bonds with the people you meet abroad can be exhausting. I wrote a blog post after I got back from Europe about detachment, and boy, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

As much as I enjoy the ability to be spontaneous, I need to plan (and budget. Mainly budget.) So finding that balance in the next year will be a fun experiment and will probably determine what the early bit of the Roaring 2020s will look like.

But again, in my first week or two home, I can enjoy the excuse of “I just got home,” and use each moment to rest, work, or relax. A lot of exciting plans and posts are coming up…but so is a guilt-free nap.